Most of my rants are usually in my head and hardly come out. I felt it was better that way. It is not. I need to express, I am sure you heard that bottled-up emotions aren’t good for you. It makes you boil inside. Then when the time comes to express, I’m lost for the words. I realize I am not well-equipped to express my emotions. maybe not in a healthy way. I am still learning.
I am learning along with my two children, encouraging them to express themselves. Then again I feel frustrated when I feel they are whining. Sometimes I even tell them to stop whining which is not fruitful. There is no structured course or exam to become a parent. You can even say it is not regulated like becoming a Doctor or an Electrician. And then you were trusted to take care of tiny babies and to make sure you grow them into functioning adults.
Now I am in 5th year of growing humans. Sometimes I am anxious that I might fail them either big or small. I am practising what I read from parenting books or advice. Then I feel bad that I am practising on them. It shouldn’t be a practice, it should be like I passed the test and I know the steps that I am doing. Arghhh..
