Mom rage is a phenomenon in which moms experience intense anger that is unexplained, intense, and often very disruptive to their daily lives. It can be a sign of unmet needs and gaps in support systems, including from partners, family and loved ones, and society as a whole. Mom rage can feel like an out-of-body experience, and it’s often followed by strong feelings of shame and guilt. It’s important to recognize that experiencing mom rage doesn’t make you a bad mom, and it may signify that your own needs aren’t being met, or that you need more support.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you understand and navigate mom rage, supported by scientific research and expert advice.
Step 1: Recognize the Signs of Mom Rage
Mom rage symptoms include feeling overcome with anger or frustration, lashing out verbally or physically, feeling out of control, and experiencing strong feelings of shame and guilt.
Step 2: Communicate with Your Partner
Partners should be open in their communications about maternal rage and avoid pretending that it’s not a real issue. It’s important for moms to help their partners understand the unpredictable nature of mom rage. Communication about even difficult topics like mom rage is essential to enduring relationships.
Step 3: Practice Self-Care
Mom rage can often be a sign that your own needs aren’t getting met. Practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and asking for support can be vital to coping with stress, overwhelm, and burnout.
Step 4: Seek Professional Help
If you’re experiencing mom rage, it’s important to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide personalized treatment options. Therapy can help you acknowledge your anger, anticipate triggers, and develop effective coping strategies.
Step 5: Develop Coping Strategies
Dealing with mom rage starts with recognizing your frustrations and making the effort to take a deep breath, walk away, and de-escalate the situation. Learning what triggers your anger and developing coping strategies can help you manage mom rage effectively.
Some self-care practices that can help prevent mom rage include:
- Recognizing Triggers: Learning stress-management tools, asking for help and support, and practicing mindfulness techniques can help cope with mom rage. Seeking professional help and working with a therapist can provide support and understanding, helping moms feel seen and heard — often for the first time.
- Setting Boundaries: Boundaries can provide a sense of control over your time and your responsibilities, which may help prevent feelings of overwhelm and anger. Identifying your triggers can also help you manage your emotions effectively.
- Asking for Support: Recognizing when you need a break from childcare duties and enlisting the assistance of a partner or loved one can provide the necessary support to prevent feelings of overwhelm and anger.
- Practicing Self-Reflection: Self-reflection helps us to understand our triggers and to create an environment that reduces them. Sometimes, a solution can be simple. Small changes can help us proactively reduce our triggers.
By incorporating these self-care practices into their daily routines, moms can take proactive steps to prevent mom rage and promote a healthier emotional state.
References:
- Choosing Therapy. “How to Deal With Mom Rage – Practical Tips From a Therapist.” [https://www.choosingtherapy.com/mom-rage/]
- PsychCentral. “Mom Rage: What It Feels Like and How It Can Affect Kids.” [https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-mom-rage-and-when-is-it-a-sign-of-bigger-mental-health-issue]
